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View from the Balcony - Reg Phillips Take on the Opposition of the Day

Selby v Keighley, Saturday 26th January 2019

We are pleased to welcome our visitors, Keighley from the far reaches of the West Riding to our humble North Yorkshire home

Keighley is well known as a popular sporting & cultural Mecca, attracting visitors from as far afield as Cleckheaton, Mirfield & Lahore.

Keighley Cougars RLFC are a semi-professional rugby league team based at Royd Ings Avenue, well known amongst local banks & moneylenders, they play in the Co-operative Championship continuing a recent history of unpaid bills, unpaid players and empty stadiums. Promotion from this league was once upon a time a fantastic dream, but over the last 3 years mere existence has been the dream. The ground's historical/traditional name is Lawkholme Lane but has more recently been named Cougar Park after a local well-known middle-aged Tinder celebrity. Keighley RUFC are based at Rose Cottage, Utley and play in Yorkshire league one.

Keighley is home to Timothy Taylor Brewery, the makers of award-winning ales -Landlords Paunch and Doltmaker (previously known as Wife Beater, but following a national outcry by the Gender Police re-named Partner Puncher). They also brew Ram Tam Spam, Golden Breast, Dark Mild ( a Sri Lankan favourite )and a new French style blonde ale, Le Champion, which scored a 69 in local voting and was first brewed for the Tour de France in 2014. They also own many pubs in the area, including the Alberts Trousers Hotel, The Doltmakers Arms, The Prince Philips Saloon, The Lord Rodney & Dell and The Royal Oak in Keighley.

Keighley has a popular local music scene. There have been various venues where local bands play. Most notable was the now defunct CJ's bar (also known as Chrome, VW's, Cheese and Trumpet) that played host to many popular touring bands such as Tim Taylors Jitterbug Jivers, John Cougar Melancholy, & Take Them. Examples of local bands are the Sailmakers, the Undecided, Foxes for Faux Sake, Random Hand, the Get Gums, Eyesore Angels and Bread Message who recently parted ways after 9 years. The British rock bands Skeletal Family and Terrorvision were also originally formed in Keighley.

Keighley's Picture House, a cinema on North Street opened in 1913 making it one of the oldest in Britain. A brief closure in the mid-1990s following the employment of a cleaner prevented it from being listed as one of the oldest in continuous operation – a record that goes to the Curzon Cinema which opened in Clevedon, Somerset in 1911.

The Airedale Shopping Centre houses the 12-foot (3.7 m) tall statue of the giant Rombald holding a boulder above his head, with a glass of Doltmaker in his other hand. It was moved to a different part of the centre when the glass he was holding stopped being magically refilled. A public consultation favoured placing the statue on the Beechcliffe roundabout on the A650 road but it was decided that the figure was too gender specific & the glass of Doltmaker was replaced with a Gin & Tonic (Rhubarb Gin with a Mediterranean Tonic). According to local legend the giant Rombald threw a giant rock at his wife almost killing her, but managing to revive her with a Gin & Tonic ( Tanqueray with a Juniper Tonic & a slice of cucumber ) The rock is the "calf" of "cow and calf" rock fame which can be seen today at the top of Rombald's Moor on Ilkley Moor.

Please Enjoy your Day

Where next?

Old Rishworthians - 1 December 2018 May we wish a warm welcome to all travelling from the darkness of Rishworth Moor on the edge of Lanc

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